Fasting!…again.

So, as is probably obvious from the title of this post, I’m fasting again. Started at 7:30(am) so I’ve managed 24 minutes….amazing! I just really hope I stick to it this time, but I have no idea what I’ll do when I get home? I’ll figure something out! Is anyone else fasting at the minute? What has your longest fast been?
~~Property Of Ana

The Great Improvement

10 days since my last post..I think I’ve done worse?
This week has been amazing! I had food poisoning over the weekend and Monday and Tuesday so I literally threw up anything that I ate, and I good excuse to just not eat all! I’m still playing on the bad belly thing so all of my meals that I’ve had to eat with my family have all been super small, and low in calories because they’re simple tastes which will ‘help my stomach’. So far today I’ve had a lemon yoghurt, which I forced myself to throw up anyway, and some sugar free jelly. So I think I’m doing good! I’ve been off my usual Tea (like Breakfast Tea) and I’m on Blackberry Tea. I’m not really sure if it’s any better for me, or lower in calories or anything but it seems to fill me up a bit more and stop me feeling hungry. I think that’s because it’s just got more flavour than normal tea, and a bit sweeter. I’m too scared to weigh myself just yet but I know I’ve lost something – I can feel it on my body, my stomach is definitely smaller now. I’m also chugging down water, but I tend to go for iced water as it burns more calories – because you’re body has to use energy to get it to a higher temperature so it will digest. I’m home alone all weekend so I’ll be able to do whatever I want when it comes to meals, or lack of them. College is hectic at the minute so I don’t have time to get food, even when I get really bad cravings. Which brings me onto my next thing: does anyone have any suggestions for low cal foods that’ll stop my cravings for things chocolate or sweet food? And I’ve also been chugging down cigarettes which also reduce your appetite! I hope you’ve all had a good week!! How’s it gone?

~~Property Of Ana

Mirrors

I went to a party, not really a party…like a gathering? There was 11 of us so? Whatever, that’s not important. I got drunk and high and ended up in bed with this guy. Once we were done we just gotdressed and carried on with the party thing. It’s not like we were going to cuddle or anything. I think the guys a twat really (everybody says he’s lovely but I’ve never met him when we haven’t been drunk so you know). Anyway, I went into the bathroom to sort my hair and face out and I actually felt sort of pleased. I looked thinner, I know I did. It was like those times in the morning when you wake up with your stomach caving in and your cheekbones and collarbones and hipbones popping out because you haven’t eaten in so long. And that is how I looked. For a little while, I saw who I would be if I were just skinnier. My eyes were huge and popping (because of my eye make-up, they were just…properly emphasized and just ‘popping’. Do you get what I mean?) And my hair was sort of fluffed up and I could just see this vision of me, thin. Obviously, I think about me being skinny a lot of the time but usually it’s picturing me as some Tumblr model, thin, grungey looking girl. Zero parts me. But this time, looking into that mirror, I could see me. And I’m so excited and motivated and literally bursting with that image. And everything seems so clear and easy right now. It won’t last, but I’m going to enjoy it and take advantage of it as much as possible.
I really hope you’re all making progress!! Whether it’s recovery, or maintaining, or losing weight, or doing whatever YOU want. So good luck with everything!!! You’ll get the absolute best in the end, because you all deserve to be happy! Being who you want, whether that’s skinny or not.

~~Property Of Ana

Disappointed.

Disappointed. That is what I am. In basically everything, I’ll do a list.
Number 1. Lost another 3 pounds. Which was okay? I think? But the I fucking binged tonight and my belly is so full and I was just so overwhelmed by feeling so full that I just didn’t purge and I fucking regret that now. My stomach is actually so painful and maybe the good thing to come out of this binge is that it’s put me off eating…again?

Number 2. (Not at all related to food or Ana or amything but I’m going to whine about it anyway) I have completely fucked up college and I’m fairly certain that I’ll fail this year and then won’t make it onto Year 2 of my course. Which makes me angry and sad and disappointed and just pissed off in general.

Number 3. I have a headache. Which is not a normal headache. I can handle normal headaches, usually don’t even take Paracetamol for them. But this is not a normal fucking headache. I have had this headache for nearly 8 days (it’s Monday night and I woke up with it a week ago on Monday morning). No amount of paracetamol or other (fucking strong) painkillers are getting rid of it and it makes me worry and panic and angry and I feel just generally exhausted. And I can’t go to the doctors because A. I don’t actually have time and B. They do the whole ‘do you have a healthy diet blah blah blah’ and we all know that isn’t true in any sense.

Number 4. Today has just been a generally crap day.

Number 5. Also completely off topic, but my skin is awful at the minute. Because I forgot to take my make up off the other night before I went to sleep and now my face is terrible.

Sorry for the massive rant…but I feel like I got a few bits off my chest so oh well!! Hope your day/week/life hasn’t been as crap as mine (although when you look, it actually isn’t that bad – I’m just in a bitchy and whiney mood). Happy Monday!!

~~Property Of Ana

Alright Day and New Workout

As far as days go, today’s been an alright one. Bit of a shitty morning and a stressful afternoon, so I took a few painkillers and it was a lot better then!! I got home about 10 minutes ago and thought “right, come on. Stop being a coward and fucking weigh yourself” so I did. Turns out I’ve post 4 pounds this week and it’s only Thursday! Which means that hopefully I can lose another 2 by the end of the week! I’m also starting a new workout. It’s called the 100 workout. I’ve put the picture of it below (although it’s a bit blurry).

I’ve never done this workout before – I usually just do the ab and squat challenge with a mix of other stuff so I hope it goes well! I think I might do it in the morning and at night because it doesn’t seem like a hard workout, or I could just double it? Not too sure yet but I’ll see how it goes!

Property Of Ana