Disappointed.

Disappointed. That is what I am. In basically everything, I’ll do a list.
Number 1. Lost another 3 pounds. Which was okay? I think? But the I fucking binged tonight and my belly is so full and I was just so overwhelmed by feeling so full that I just didn’t purge and I fucking regret that now. My stomach is actually so painful and maybe the good thing to come out of this binge is that it’s put me off eating…again?

Number 2. (Not at all related to food or Ana or amything but I’m going to whine about it anyway) I have completely fucked up college and I’m fairly certain that I’ll fail this year and then won’t make it onto Year 2 of my course. Which makes me angry and sad and disappointed and just pissed off in general.

Number 3. I have a headache. Which is not a normal headache. I can handle normal headaches, usually don’t even take Paracetamol for them. But this is not a normal fucking headache. I have had this headache for nearly 8 days (it’s Monday night and I woke up with it a week ago on Monday morning). No amount of paracetamol or other (fucking strong) painkillers are getting rid of it and it makes me worry and panic and angry and I feel just generally exhausted. And I can’t go to the doctors because A. I don’t actually have time and B. They do the whole ‘do you have a healthy diet blah blah blah’ and we all know that isn’t true in any sense.

Number 4. Today has just been a generally crap day.

Number 5. Also completely off topic, but my skin is awful at the minute. Because I forgot to take my make up off the other night before I went to sleep and now my face is terrible.

Sorry for the massive rant…but I feel like I got a few bits off my chest so oh well!! Hope your day/week/life hasn’t been as crap as mine (although when you look, it actually isn’t that bad – I’m just in a bitchy and whiney mood). Happy Monday!!

~~Property Of Ana