I try to act as if I’m a tough cookie. As if what people say doesn’t bother me but truthfully I’m just a people pleaser. I like making people happy and proud. And lately I’m just letting people down all the time. I’m letting it all slip through my fingers and it’s worse than it has ever been before because for the real first time I’m watching everybody slowly slip away and there is actually nothing I can do. And it just hurts. Because I feel too. I hurt too. So why don’t I deserve to be happy? Why can’t I have the love that people around me do? Why don’t I even love myself? People around me are picking up their pieces and climbing their ladder and building their lives or whatever other fucking metaphor you can use. So why am I still sat here crying myself to sleep and hoping to not wake up in the morning. I just don’t know what to do. I’m just lost and confused and sad. That’s all there is really.
Also, I’m sorry. This was supposed to be a Pro Ana blog. But it’s not really. It’s just me whining. Um, I worked out tonight – just my normal 200 of pretty much everything. And I ate about a third of a lettuce and a red pepper. So yeah. How are you all doing?
~~Property Of Ana
Property Of Ana 
Dont worry, with ana comes depressing thoughts! I get this all the time and i often write posts that I save and re read to post and never do because they are just whinning and that about pretty the same things you just spoke about,. Let it out aye because we are all thinking the same things!!! xxxx A
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Thank you! Just ups and downs all the time I guess. I sort of like the down times sometimes? I kind of enjoy them? Because it’s always the time when I’ll meet my calorie goals, and put every ounce of my effort into losing that next pound. If I don’t let it out on here then where will I eh? Good luck hun!! Stay strong! Xxxx
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Sigh …. I can relate & I’m right at 300 calories for the day. It’s been a tough week at work for me:(
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